Cleveland Browns Stadium

One question asked by another visiting fan, "why don't the Browns have cheerleaders?"
My response: "Have you seen the 'quality' of the women in Cleveland?"

Shower-sense

I really like showering at other people's houses, it gives me an opportunity to try products I would be too afraid to buy. Unless they only have bar-soap... because that's just that't just creepy.

Germaphobia

I always put toilet paper down on the seat in public restrooms if I have to dump. I'm sure that the flimsy one-ply t.p. will protect me from the random assortment of germs on the toilet seat.

Sadistic Bear

So there's something disturbing about seeing a stuffed bear turning a handle that mixes up bear stuffing. Its like a cannibalistic bear meat-grinder.