Pass the Garlic

On our recent trip to IKEA my sister and I discovered the worlds largest garlic press... Sweet

Vanity Smugness

Is having a smug vanity-plate a requirement of owning a hybrid car?
Examples: ECOLOMY, SAVNGAS, HY MPG...

Scam-Eeze

I think the goal of Cold-Eeze is to make your mouth taste so horrible that you don't even notice when you're sick... or that you get to the point that being sick is better than feeling like you have a pocket full of loose change in your mouth.

Cold/Flu Season

Has anyone ever tried this crap? It taste likes you're sucking on a sweaty nickel.

First Choice

Maybe he's trying to take advantage of the $30 "partial highlights special". Or maybe after being rejected by AFLAC he was trying to make his pitch as the "Frist Choice Seagull"

This Can't Be Good Can It?

So I see this ad in my local Speedway for and exclusive new product selling a pre-mixed Red Bull and "Cola". Sounds wierd, but of course I have to try it.

Stupid Softball

$350 later, who says softball isn't a contact sport?

Which product sounds grosser?

"Joint Juice"
or
Vanillia Crème "Muscle Milk"

Summer Olympics

How much sweeter can the olympics get? Women's beach volleyball, rain, and white "uniforms".

Dog Days of Summer

*sigh* "This Sudoku stuff is harder than it looks"

Come on Now

"house recipie" ketchup? That just shows you that you serve cheap food at your reasturants. You have no standards.

Is it just me?

or does my new perscription look like birth control... I'm not going to worry unless my breasts start to get tender.

Really?

Now i've seen everything... A phone case shaped like Croc's. Give me a break, this croc-epidemic has got to stop.

'Local Honey'

There's a joke here, I'm sure...

Signs

So how many times do you think this incident has happened to require McDonald's to post such a professional sign? Are high-chair in front of door incidents that big of a problem?

Spring Cleaning

Say hello to the pile of hair left after we brushed our 80 lbs German Shepherd.

Snow in June?

So that's why I can't breathe... Damn you cottonwood

Shattered Dreams

Watching HBO's "Big Love" has totally ruined my dream scenario of being a upper-middle class small business-owning polygamist.

Female Logistics

I've decided that men can suvive without a female figure to organize them. The confusion happens because we can't decode the woman's intricate filing process. For instance, I would be able to find that shirt I was looking for if I had put it away. The reason I ask my wife where it is everytime is because she's the one with the "system".

Mother's Day Question For Women

Would you rather:

1. Have a child on Mother's Day?

2.Be born on Mother's Day?

Some things to consider:

If you're born on Mother's Day your birthday will always fall on or close to Mother's Day meaning combined/dual purpose presents.

If you have a child on Mother's Day its birthday will always fall on or close to Mother's Day meaning you'll be dragging them to Chuck E. Cheese or planning parties on Mother's Day.

This is awesome

Good to know Grampa can still git-er done even after what may seem like a debilitating joint replacement.

You Might Be An Urban Redneck...

Pointless Devotion

How lame do you have to be to have vanity plates showing your devotion to a mediocre QB from the New England area. Oh yeah, he played in the CFL too.

They do exist

A Hunt's Ketchup packet... Don't ask me what fine establishment distributes these little gems. I feel like I just found a leprechaun or something.

It's haunting me

This is my view from my office. Three vending machines beckoning, taunting me, calling to me. Must... resist...sugary... goodness...

New Products

Seen on a gas station reader board:
"New Vitamin Water Flavor Pringles 75c"
Mmmm... Sounds good.

Some product research guy just lost his job

That's right, Budweiser and Clamato, "Cheladá". Everyone's favorite king of beers has teamed up with everyone's favorite clam/tomato juice combo. Now I am all about trying new products but this is just gross.

Shower Stupidity

So I was in the shower this morning and I reached for the shampoo....
Which is dumb because I don't have any hair

Twix Java

They were 2 for $1 at Speedway (+ 200 bonus Speedy Rewards Points), and being the sucker I am for marketing ploys I decided to try them.

Silent Vigil Day II

It has come to my attention that not everybody is firmiliar with Zagnuts. I would compare their candy relevance to a Clark bar or a Zero, maybe even a box of Crows or Wax Lips perhaps.

As per wikipedia

"Candy stores rarely stock Zagnut, since it has only a niche market, and most Zagnuts are sold online."

When was the last time you used paypal to purchase a Zagnut? Exactly.

A Word About Injustice

A great injustice has been done. Its a good bet all of us has a vending machine at work or school. Imagine the horror if the vending Gods were to replace your favorite letter/number combo with something from the land of mis-fit candies...

This is the gripping reality that faced my good friend Jered today (check out his blog). His favorite candy of choice (Snickers.... mmmm satisfying) was mercilessly abducted and replaced with a Zagnut.

Yup, a Zagnut. (When was the last time you enjoyed the scrumptiousness of a creamy Zagnut?)

I am going to start a silent protest until the Zagnut is brought down. I might actually call my congressman.

Seriously now...

Someone asked me how I could joke about church/religion. My response was simple: I don't take organized religion, the church, Christians or myself seriously. I am seriously passionate about Jesus Christ and relating how He has affected my life, but I am perfectly ok with light-heartedly poking fun at the flawed man-made systems we've created like a 3 year-old's finger painting on God's refrigerator door.

Regardless of your opinion

Bad weather like this really makes me admire the dedication of smokers...

Daewoo?

Is it just me or does the Daewoo logo look like:
a.) a platinum jockstrap
b.) a picture of the uterus from health class

Ironic happenings: A tow truck

Ironic happenings:
A tow truck breaking down on the side of the road

Add This To The Reasons I Hate Heelys

When there is snow on the ground and those bratty little twerps with their Heely's walk inside it leaves giant slush cubes all over the floor.