Really?

Doesn't it defeat the purpose of shoes if you have to put other items on the bottom to prevent them from touching the ground?

'Golden Kola'

I'm not sure what flavor "golden" is, nor am I sure if I want to know. "Golden" as an adjective before a liquid doesn't usually make for good things.

Sushi-Boat!

Toilet Humor

I wish someone would invent a toilet seat that didn't make your legs go numb afters a while

'Tofurky'

Really?

One of the Best

San Miguel Church

This is the oldest church structure in the USA. Built in 1610

It seems like all female

It seems like all female flight attendants have the same look: moderately professional with trashy overtones.

It seems like we get

It seems like we get hyped up for Christmas for over a month only to have it all be over by 10am. Is it all really worth it?

Really?

"Bucket o' Ribs" how much more ghetto does it get. Answer: none more ghetto

Happy Birthday!

140000 miles and still going strong.

Flying Rubber Duckie

Fiber One bars before workouts

Fiber One bars before workouts make for "interesting" jogs on the treadmill.

I think coffee multiplies its

I think coffee multiplies its own volume exponentially once it hits your bladder. I pee'd 4 times on 2 cups.

Almost done with "Vintage Church"

Almost done with "Vintage Church" by Driscoll, I can't decide between Chan's "Crazy Love" and Keller's "Reason for God" to read next.

Who's the more annoying Fox

Who's the more annoying Fox reality competition judge, Paula Abdul or Mary Murphy?

Boo to you FOX... A

Boo to you FOX... A reality show about a fat bachelor with fat contestants called "More to Love"? Bad taste... Bad taste like chicken...

My new aircast looks sweet!

Definition Please

"Mouth Pipetting"?

Like a Sasquach Sighting

Its not often you see 2 Christian clichés on one reader board.

Take that, NHL Playoffs

Its so cold that my wedding ring flew off my hand and rolled down the parking lot. I had to do a diving kick save to keep it from going down the storm drain.

Upon further review...

It comes in both a "Chocolaty" and "White" variety... I'll have my blasphemy with a side of segregation please...

Sacrilicious

Nothing says "Jesus died for your sins" like a 300 calorie solid chocolate cross

Low Level Super Heros

There is nothing more macho than driving down the road with your couch on the roof of your car holding it down with your bare hand

Rocky Career?

When was the last time you saw Dolph Lundgren in anything other than Heman or his stint in the Rocky series?

Milestones

I just realized that my blog is over 2 years old now. Looking back I also noticed that the resaurant I referenced in my first post (Fat Freddy's Sticky-Q) hasn't lasted as long as this blog. I guess some people just know when to give it up...

Odorific

The locker room at work smells like a combo of B.O. and broccoli... The B.O. I understand but the broccoli?

Dollars Ad-Sense

Dollars Ad-Sense
The "money I could be saving with Geico" ad campaign is not as cool as the gecko or the caveman campaigns... *Edit: It is still better than the real person/actor campaign*

"Reality" TV

So I am a fan of the Amazing Race on CBS which is one of the last "real" reality TV competitions. No voting, just competition. The one thing I've never seen is the contestants eating... sure they are shown sleeping and one can assume they use the restroom when needed, but not a single shot of anyone eating... no meal, no snack, nothing more than a couple of sips of water.

Spring is Right Around the Corner (part 3)

Only a day later, the snow is back... But too late for my poor snowman

Mini-Carts

I am the poster-child for masculinity... Really the wife made me do it. I swear

Spring is Right Around the Corner (part 2)

After only 6 days this is what remains of my horizontal snowman made last Saturday. RIP buddy... see you next year

Random Thoughts for Today

-Anyone else think that its funny how this year's American Idol contestant "Normon Gentle" is purposly trying to flame it up on stage while Adam Lambert tries to keep it all in the closet?

-My dog and I were playing this morning before I went to work, he jumped up and scratched me. I think he ripped my nipple off.

-I hate when the American Idol contestants talk back to the judges. Can we just get back to the days where the judges shamlessly pimped the singers they wanted to win and ripped apart the ones that aren't "mainstream" enough?

-A good deed never goes un-punished, just ask this guy.

-Everytime I click "next blog" at the top of this page, Blogger thinks I speak every possible language but english.

Spring is right around the corner

I guess this is what happens when I have too much time on my hands

Liberalism

Doing a little spring cleaning I found a collection of art-work from 5th grade. I was a tree-hugging hippie before it was cool.

Danger

Some people laugh in the face of danger.

In My Opinion

Chris Tomlin is the "Nickelback" of Christian music but "God of this City" is a guilty pleasure of mine right now.

Bears & Bulls in the China Shop

There have been peaks and valleys in my spiritual life... Over the last 2 years I've been in a valley but now i think things are turning upwards...

Pass the Garlic

On our recent trip to IKEA my sister and I discovered the worlds largest garlic press... Sweet

Vanity Smugness

Is having a smug vanity-plate a requirement of owning a hybrid car?
Examples: ECOLOMY, SAVNGAS, HY MPG...

Scam-Eeze

I think the goal of Cold-Eeze is to make your mouth taste so horrible that you don't even notice when you're sick... or that you get to the point that being sick is better than feeling like you have a pocket full of loose change in your mouth.

Cold/Flu Season

Has anyone ever tried this crap? It taste likes you're sucking on a sweaty nickel.

First Choice

Maybe he's trying to take advantage of the $30 "partial highlights special". Or maybe after being rejected by AFLAC he was trying to make his pitch as the "Frist Choice Seagull"

This Can't Be Good Can It?

So I see this ad in my local Speedway for and exclusive new product selling a pre-mixed Red Bull and "Cola". Sounds wierd, but of course I have to try it.

Stupid Softball

$350 later, who says softball isn't a contact sport?

Which product sounds grosser?

"Joint Juice"
or
Vanillia Crème "Muscle Milk"

Summer Olympics

How much sweeter can the olympics get? Women's beach volleyball, rain, and white "uniforms".

Dog Days of Summer

*sigh* "This Sudoku stuff is harder than it looks"

Come on Now

"house recipie" ketchup? That just shows you that you serve cheap food at your reasturants. You have no standards.

Is it just me?

or does my new perscription look like birth control... I'm not going to worry unless my breasts start to get tender.

Really?

Now i've seen everything... A phone case shaped like Croc's. Give me a break, this croc-epidemic has got to stop.

'Local Honey'

There's a joke here, I'm sure...

Signs

So how many times do you think this incident has happened to require McDonald's to post such a professional sign? Are high-chair in front of door incidents that big of a problem?

Spring Cleaning

Say hello to the pile of hair left after we brushed our 80 lbs German Shepherd.

Snow in June?

So that's why I can't breathe... Damn you cottonwood

Shattered Dreams

Watching HBO's "Big Love" has totally ruined my dream scenario of being a upper-middle class small business-owning polygamist.

Female Logistics

I've decided that men can suvive without a female figure to organize them. The confusion happens because we can't decode the woman's intricate filing process. For instance, I would be able to find that shirt I was looking for if I had put it away. The reason I ask my wife where it is everytime is because she's the one with the "system".

Mother's Day Question For Women

Would you rather:

1. Have a child on Mother's Day?

2.Be born on Mother's Day?

Some things to consider:

If you're born on Mother's Day your birthday will always fall on or close to Mother's Day meaning combined/dual purpose presents.

If you have a child on Mother's Day its birthday will always fall on or close to Mother's Day meaning you'll be dragging them to Chuck E. Cheese or planning parties on Mother's Day.

This is awesome

Good to know Grampa can still git-er done even after what may seem like a debilitating joint replacement.

You Might Be An Urban Redneck...

Pointless Devotion

How lame do you have to be to have vanity plates showing your devotion to a mediocre QB from the New England area. Oh yeah, he played in the CFL too.

They do exist

A Hunt's Ketchup packet... Don't ask me what fine establishment distributes these little gems. I feel like I just found a leprechaun or something.

It's haunting me

This is my view from my office. Three vending machines beckoning, taunting me, calling to me. Must... resist...sugary... goodness...

New Products

Seen on a gas station reader board:
"New Vitamin Water Flavor Pringles 75c"
Mmmm... Sounds good.

Some product research guy just lost his job

That's right, Budweiser and Clamato, "Cheladá". Everyone's favorite king of beers has teamed up with everyone's favorite clam/tomato juice combo. Now I am all about trying new products but this is just gross.

Shower Stupidity

So I was in the shower this morning and I reached for the shampoo....
Which is dumb because I don't have any hair