Movements

I'm not sure if it was diet, exercise or what, but in high school I might have pooped maybe 3 times a week. Now it seems like 1-2 times a day...

Gas Cents

So I have a 5¢ off per gallon cupon saving me a whopping 55¢ on a full tank. I really makes me wonder why I get excited when gas prices drop a few cents

Bittersweet Gas

Finding gas for $2.99 is exciting and pathetic at the same time... Exciting because its the lowest price around but pathetic that I'm excited about $3 gas

Man Law...Or Um Something

I guess this isn't a man law per se... but any restroom with only a stall and a urinal should have a lock on the door, not the flimsy push open door like the one here at my local gas station. You'd think they could afford door locks with the price of gas... Oh and the creepy condom vendor freaks me out. If you're too shy to buy condoms at the counter, how did you get the courage to get a girl (I assume) to... you know... sleep with you?

Aroma Therapy

Have you ever been alone, like say, in a car and smelled what appears at first sniff to be a fart? Then you try to remember if you farted... Then you smell again to make sure its a fart smell... You process the fact that you are the only one that could have farted if said smell was a fart... You sniff again and confirm, yes definitely a fart... only to realize that you voluntarily smelled a fart like 4 times in a row?

Some foods just weren't meant to mix

Jigs Dinner + Jed's for lunch = The toilet equivalent of "shock & awe".

The only thing that could make it worse would be Chipotle...

Mmmmm.... did someone say Chipotle?

Transportation Breakdown

I just bought gas @ $2.59... I'm getting sick and tired of this crap. When are we going to get scientists working on that Star Trek transporter technology?